British wiring

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they do still have a claim to "sudden, unexpected darkness."


Lucas -- inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas -- inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three-position Lucas switch -- DIM, FLICKER and OFF.

The other three switch settings -- SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The original anti-theft devices -- Lucas Electric products.

"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...."

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

Did you hear about the Lucas-powered torpedo? It sank.

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner, "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" He replied, "It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens anyway!"

Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.

Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Engineering guy that they had trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.

Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas makes refrigerators, too.

Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the short circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."

Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

Got fat, must train and regain svelt form

no this is not a new years resolution

remember

remember the days when they built cars withe the filler neck for the petrol tank behind the license plate on the rear bumper ?

you would get rear ended by a '72 fairlane and there would be gysers of flaming fuel puking out of the ruptered filler neck.

woo hoo those were the days

“Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.”--Martina Navratilova, American Tennis Player

quantom physics- the dreams stuff is made of

anon.

Fog is nothing but a cloud that lacks the will to fly- Bill Bryson

Gah

well 48 feet of snow on the ground, work is boring and I am trying to get some clients for the old massage biz so I do not have to work any more in the trades.

On the lighter side i was made an official member of the U of alberta track team this year, volunteer position but it is exposure and may lead to things such as working the olympics in vancouver in 2010.

I will blab more later.

Best description ever

My friend Clayton in describing Leonard Cohen


" The white Dahli Lama "

hmmmm

well i graduated
just have to align myself with an association and and then i can put the letters RMT behind my name




boooo yaaaaa

so cool

usless info

primary colours

red
green
blue


secondary colours

cyan
yellow
magenta


feel the new wrinkle in your brain with knowing this info

Holy chitlins




I get to be a massage therapist for Cirque du Soliel tonight


Whoa i am a little scared

Knowledge guides us to happiness. It sustains us in misery. It is an ornament umongst friends and an armour against enemies.

The prophet Muhummed


Someone is missing something somewhere methinks.

Bejing

As of last year, 1000 new cars a day were introduced onto Bejing's roadways. That my friends is a lot of oil consumption.

The World is Flat

Hmmmm

I posted that you should check out The World is Flat

Indeed if the U.S. and Canada do not get their collective acts together and raise the standard of education and quit catering to the lowest common denominator we will all get fucked over on the world stage.

First thing that should be dumped is the mind numbinng tv shit that makes people catatonic like reality shows. Tv in general is pretty pathetic.

The standard has been raised and we are more worried about political correctness than raising the bar. we will be losing on the world stage soon if this is not corrected.

You have been warned.