to be broken

i have been broken twice in my life,once at 18 from a summer of over training,i was utterly desolate but i kept going thinking i could work through it but i finally broke and was messed up for a while.the second time was 5 years ago,overtime out the wassoo,i despised the guy i was working for and the pressure was bruttal,order after order kept pouring in and this retard kept flipping me job to job so i would never complete anything.hoplessness was the watch word of the day.i was actually driven to tears. the fucked up part was that i knew i was breaking and i watched myself disconnectedly as i crumbled. kind of a weird feeling. now as i get older i do not care,i just push through the day and wait for it to end so i can start again,happy happy joy joy.