cher says my last post was a lame attempt at attention.perhaps but everthing on that list is true so there. another thing wrong with me is that self loathing is an attribute that i cannot get rid of. it is true i throw things but i throw not well. i could improve a staggering amount if i were more faithful to my training but the fact that i am short and have unnaturaly short arms severly limits the upper end of what i can cast an implement. physics cannot be circumnavigated. but numbers are not why i throw or else i would of quit in my first season 6 years ago. i make my small improvements every year and there is nothing else that could be asked for.

short arms are good for bench pressing but that is a piss poor excuse of and exercise for demonstrating strength. none the less that did not stop me from seeing how much i could bench on the last day of the year. i pressed 300 hundred and 3 day after my right shoulder is completely fucked. i cannot raise my arm above my ear. i guess one should not do things like that especially since i have not benched seriously for about 9 or 10 years and the last time i did bench was 3 years ago just to see how much i could put up. suprise suprise it was 300 pounds then too. work was explorations in new demensions of pain,shoulder gets used heavily in machining,meh it was worth it,a least i earned my injury,37 years old pulling shit like that,i will take the pain,far too many people are old at 40 and i will not be one of them,self loathing aside.

so when i am loathing my self,just ignore me,it is somthing i do and it is not likely to change in the near future,it is part of my make up,most likely feeps me from being on behaviour modifying drugs because i just puke it all out,i used to write all this stuff in a book but now i do it on here,aren't you all lucky.