once again

was in high river on saturday-that's right the day of saturn,saturn's day-you got a problem with that huh huh? yeah that's right shut up. so i am down in high river and the massage therapist from last year is there. she remembers me,this made me happy as part of the reason for attending these games was to hit on her. i talked to her for about 3 hours across the day and got her to do work on me,my god can this girl inflict pain,i fell in love with her for just that.we talked about this and that and massage therapy and she has so much going for her,intelligent,beautiful personality,serene,nice looking-i am a troll.she lives in vulcan and i am in edmonton.that alone kills it all.maybe she will call me who knows but i am not holding my breath,it would be nice though.whatever,more disapointment to tally up.

quotes

all men are created equal-just that some are more equal than others -cannot remember who said this one

piss on you god you are not fair after all -dan

(said in your best jackie stewart accent) any one ever said you skate like eric hiedan? noooo that is because you don't -said by my friend clayton to me whilst we where speed skating at victoria park oval

do not hate me because i am beautiful,hate me because my penis is bigger than yours -just heard it,thought it was funny

(said in your best scottish accent) at seventeen and a half stone,he is a virtual lighthouse of a man -david webster

holly's wish

holly requests on her blog that i do this quiz thingy-what holly wants holly gets


seven things i want to do before taking the dirt nap:

1-find a girlfriend
2-finish my car
3-throw in scotland
4-win the lottery
5-go to iceland
6-see man go to the moon again
7-figure out what the fuck is going on

seven things i can do:

1-ride a unicycle
2-pick up 200 pounds with my teeth
3-sit in a hot tub while it is 30 above
4-procrastinate
5-photograph when the mood grabs me
6-be a good massage therapist(remains to be seen those who tell me i am good will pay when i actually get to charge for my services)
7-throw a caber

seven things i cannot do:

1-find a girlfriend
2- bow down to convention
3-resist procrastinating
4-resist a slurpee
5-have meaningful interaction with most people(i am somewhat socialy inept)
6-have a realistic sense of time
7-know when to quit

seven thing that attract me to the opposite sex:

1-hair(long or short but suits the individual)
2-well developed hamstrings
3-an athletic build
4-dark eyes
5-intelligence
6-wears flat shoes(i despise high heels and what they do to a womans body,tilted pelvis any one)
7-she who is totally comfortable with her self

seven things i say the most:

1-fuck me
2-awesome
3-outstanding
4-ok who is the fuck head
5-hmm his estrogen is high
6-dude
7-cockmonger

seven celebs i have a crush on:

1-audry hepburn
2-elle mcpherson(she was hot in the day,still is)
3-elena lev(she did the hoops act in cirque du soliel,what an awesome performer)
4-juliette binoche
5-joey-lauren adams
6-michelle yeoh
7-holly robson(hah you knew i was gonna put that in there,i kill me)

seven people i wish to take this quiz:

no one actually plus i do not even know seven people willing to do this.

there you go now i go bed.

stories

he whipered in her ear "i do not exist" and walked away never looking back. she watched him go with a mixture of pain and realization that this moment had always been coming. he walked,she watched both knowing they could not have each other.

thai massage

the cobra



it looks nasty but feels way good,i have got to start doing the thai massage thing again

sunday

went a squatting-365 went up,i am gunning to break that all time record from my early 20's-540 pounds.maybe by new years,twood be nice.

now i think i shall hang about in my gravity boots doing an impression of a bat to decompress the spine and then go get some noshies.life at 1000 miles a minute,can you not feel the excitement?

time

8:58
i look at the clock and watch the second hand go round.
time is so intangible but we all want more and it can never be gotten back
9:00

history as we do not know it

king richard the lion heart could not speak english,only french

henry ford did not invent the automobile,he invented the assembly line

moby dick was based on a true life whaling ship,the essex, that got rammed and sunk by a sperm whale

michealangelo was ambidextrous which explains his huge body of work,he could work in any position.

the day the bastille was stormed there were less than 10 prisoners in it.

to cross the north atlantic,you are never more than 125 miles from land

lookey lookey

you can almost see under my kilt

tiny plaid ninjas

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/plaid.php

shoot zombies in the face

http://artscool.cfa.cmu.edu/~lee/deanimator.html

other peoples children

two of the guys i throw with have new children.i am quite good with them,they like coming to me and both of the guys wives trust me completely with them. they both coment that i should have children of my own.what they do not understand is that when the 2 boys get fidgety or grumpy or i have to do something else i give them back.it is not the same as having your own children.i may be good with them but i also only have them for maybe a half hour at a time and that is enough for now.

when you know it is over

my last girlfriend was working on her computer,she was a graphic artist,i was sitting on a chair in the opposite corner of the room. ilooked up at her and my exact words were"wanna fuck". she says sure and we go into the bedroom and proceed to have the most mechanical sex ever. it was absolutely lacking in any kind of passion. i sweated on top of her for about 5 minutes,blew my load, pulled out,we cleaned up and she went back to her computer and i went back to my chair. it was like a scene out of a sureal movie. it was over about a week later,that is my last memory of sex.

perception?

about 10 years ago i am sitting in the keg at the bar with the boys and someone comes up with a tub of playdough,do not ask me why they had it. any how people start fooling around with it and making stupid things out of it.it finally comes my way and since i have dabbled in sculpting i started creating these faces and little sculptures,just fooling around. now the waitress who untill then would not even give me the time of day saw what i was up to and started hanging off of me. before i was an untouchable and now i am a leaning post because a made a couple of faces in clay. what changed? nothing. for some reason this irked me to no end,actually i am still pissed about it,people are so fickle.

i couldnt help it

so way back when in a previous life i aquired a heart rate moniter. so in the interest of science the girlfriend at the time suggests i wear it whilst we were having sex so she could see how fast she could get my heart going. this was a mistake. seems during copulation my heat rate drops quite a bit. this did not please her. oh no i was accused of not liking sex with her and she took it as a personal affront that my ticker was not on the verge of exploding. what do you do,one cannot control how ones body reacts can one now.